The Bad News Is......................

This is a picture of me and the person I made responsible for my happiness for more years than I care to admit.

We are no longer together, however we remain as close as 500 miles apart will allow us to be.

He says I drive him nuts but he can't leave me alone. I know he drives me nuts and i choose not to exclude him from my life.

Over the years we have both been guilty of making each other responsible for one anothers happiness. As a result, we have lost the ability to live together or have one each other in our lives on a daily basis.

Along the way we have been incredibly unfair to the other person, hurt each other tremendously, caused one another a great deal of pain and heartache and pretty much just made our own lives miserable in the process.

All because we depended on the other person to make us happy.

Well, I used to say that all i really knew in my 53 years on this planet was that i didn't know anything....this is not true.

I know 2 things....the first is that you cannot change anyone but yourself...and if you look at that gorgeous, sexy man or woman you just met and he or she seems just perfect except for that one little thing that just drives you NUTS....he swears too much or she talks horribly to his mother, he treats his animals poorly or she has really bad credit because he is irresponsible with his/her money.....if the thought ever crosses your mind, "but I can change them" don't kid yourself, because you can't.....and you are doing nothing but trying to put out fire with gasoline, trying.

The 2nd thing i have learned and know to be true is this....no one and nothing can make you happy....happiness is a choice. And you...YOU get to chose or reject it for yourself.

I never truly got that until the past year....and it was truly trial by fire.

It started by my becoming so dissatisfied and unhappy by my needs not being met by someone else that I left him and moved 500 miles away to be with my daughters and grandchildren.

I was soooooo craving to be near people who loved me. Still, when surrounded by those who loved me most i felt alone and desperately unhappy.

I turned to the church, where i had been raised. I found solice there for a short time. But as always it was fleeting. I always knew i loved God and Jesus....but it was what i call "fear based" religion that once again stopped me from continuing to go. I couldn't honestly say to anyone, ever with any conviction that if they did not believe as i did that they were going to "hell."

I couldn't even say that i believed in hell or a god who would condem you to such a place. The god i was taught to love and believed in was pure love, pure energy, not something that would or could ever create a void where he would send someone He was responsible for creating to live eternally separated from him.....it just never made sense to me....Then there was the concept of Karma...which always made so much sense to me...and from what I have read, surfaces in some way in every major religion on the planet in some form.

Then quite by chance I was introduced by a beautiful old soul in a beautiful young man's body (when the student is ready the teacher will appear), who turned me on to a movie called the Secret, and my life was changed forever.

When i combined that with the 5 yrs of psycho-therapy I had under my belt the pieces of the puzzle just started flying into place...quantum physics and psychiatry..what a FANTASTIC combination....and all of a sudden an epiphany...i finally understood what Tom had said and what i had been told by so many wise people for so many years and never really "got".....

THE BAD NEWS IS .... NO BODY CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY BUT YOU .... BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS.....NO BODY CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY BUT YOU.....this applies to "things" as well...because if you aren't happy inside yourself, laying in bed, naked and alone in the dark...no one and nothing is going to do that for you....HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE THAT ONLY YOU CAN MAKE.

Let me say that again.....

YOUR HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE THAT ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING.

Now...when you think of that....it can be really scary at first....but really freeing ultimately.......

I'm not a master at it...not yet...but in less than a year I have almost tripled my income, learned how to "intend" and manifest things into my life, realized my own divinity and that of those around me, become one with my creator, realized the most abundance i have ever known, and become happier than i have ever been in my life.

NOW...i still get my feelings hurt....and i still am not above telling someone that THEY hurt them....but deep down inside myself i understand the concept that NO ONE can hurt my feelings unless i allow it....(that's a tough one).....and really we create the situations and the life we want for ourselves....so if you are lacking something in your life, somehow, someway, you are keeping it from coming to you.....

We are all energy...housed in these bodies for our stay on this planet...we are all the same energy as the divine creator that created us...like drops of water separated from the ocean....the sooner you realize that you are apart of the same energy...the easier your life will become..

My advice...start by watching The Secret...read Dr Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra...James Assaraf, Michael Neill..

And above all....make yourself happy. Don't make yourself happy FIRST...i hear that a lot and it's RUBBISH....because you can't make anyone else happy BUT you....Make yourself happy and teach those you care about and love how to do the same...that is the greatest gift you can give someone...

Imagine a world in which everyone's initial goal in live was to unselfishly find what gave them inner happiness.....i have a feeling it would all work out from there...