DRAMA

AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT....I AM GUILTY OF CREATING A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF DRAMA IN MY LIFE THAT REALLY, I COULD DO WITHOUT.

ALL DRAMA DOES IS COMPLICATE THINGS. IT IS NEVER USEFUL. IT IS ALWAYS COUNTER PRODUCTIVE AND IT IS OFTEN DESTRUCTIVE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY WE AS HUMAN BEINGS NEED THIS ELEMENT IN OUR LIVES TO SURVIVE.....I HAVE KNOWN SOME FOLKS WHO LITERALLY THRIVED ON DRAMA...I HAVE LITERALLY CREATED PEOPLE WHO HAD TO HAVE DRAMA IN THEIR LIVES TO FEEL COMPLETE AND IF THINGS WERE GOING SMOOTHLY FOR THEM, THEY WOULD ACTUALLY CREATE SOME SORT OF CRISIS JUST TO FEEL OK.

I AM NOT TRAINED IN THE AREA OF PSYCHIATRY OR PSYCHOLOGY, BUT I HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF IT FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE, IE AS A PATIENT, AND I KNOW THAT PEOPLE TEND TO SEEK OUT THEIR "NORMAL".

CONSEQUENTLY, WHATEVER ENVIRONMENT THEY WERE RAISED IN THEY TEND TO RECREATE FOR THEMSELVES AS ADULTS...THAT IS WHERE CODEPENDENCY COMES IN...THAT IS WHY THE CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC MARRIED SUBSTANCE ABUSERS OR CHILD ABUSERS ABUSE THEIR OWN CHILDREN...IT IS WHAT THEY KNOW...

SO...IF YOU WERE RAISED WITH A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE, OR LEARNED THAT DRAMA GOT YOU ATTENTION, WHETHER IT BE GOOD OR BAD, THEN YOU CREATE THAT ELEMENT IN YOUR LIFE AS AN ADULT, NO MATTER WHAT THE OUTCOME, USUALLY NOT GOOD.

I ONCE WAS FRIENDS WITH THE DAUGHTER OF A WELL KNOWN PRODUCER DIRECTOR FOR WALT DISNEY WHO WAS RAISED IN SUCH CHAOS THAT IN HER MID 40'S WAS INCAPABLE OF LIVING IN REALITY. HAVING BEEN DISOWNED BY HER MOTHER AND SIBLING SHE MADE UP SUCH GRANDIOSE LIES TO ENMESH OTHERS IN HER SAD AND PITIFUL LIFE THAT YOU WERE ENTRAPPED SO QUICKLY YOU COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL SO SORRY FOR HER THAT YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HELP.

IT TOOK OVER NINE MONTHS OF ONE DRAMATIC EPISODE AFTER THE OTHER TO FINALLY ASCERTAIN THAT ALL OF HER TALES OF WOE WERE ACTUALLY COMING FROM INSIDE HER HEAD WHERE SHE LIVED, NO DOUBT, WITH PETER PAN AND THE EASTER BUNNY.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, SHE IS NO LONGER IN MY LIFE, AND THIS IS AN EXTREME CASE, BUT ON A MUCH LOWER LEVEL, DON'T WE ALL IN SOME WAY BRING UNNECESSARY DRAMA INTO OUR LIVES THAT WE COULD CERTAINLY LIVE MORE PEACEFULLY AND FUNCTION MORE SANELY WITHOUT?

THROUGH THIS WEB SITE I HAVE MADE A WONDERFUL NEW FRIEND (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE :-) WHO IS A GREAT MIRROR TO ME....SHE MAKES ME LOOK AT MYSELF THROUGH HER EYES. SOMETIMES I LOVE WHAT I SEE AND I FEEL GREAT ABOUT MYSELF AND SOMETIMES I AM EMBARRASSED AND DON'T LIKE WHO I SEE LOOKING BACK.

BUT I USE THAT IMAGE TO CHANGE THE BAD AND REINFORCE THE GOOD. I WOULD PRAY AND WISH FOR YOU ALL TO HAVE SUCH A FRIEND.

RECENTLY, TODAY IN FACT, I RID MY LIFE OF A LIE I HAVE BEEN TELLING MYSELF FOR 4 YEARS NOW. THIS LIE IS TOO PERSONAL TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE BUT SUFFICE TO SAY, IT HAS HELD ME BACK FROM EXPERIENCING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, FROM BEING ALL I COULD HAVE BEEN AND FROM MAKING MYSELF HAPPY ON SO MANY WONDERFUL LEVELS.

SO I DID SOME REAL SOUL SEARCHING AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH THE BASIS OF THAT LIE AND I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND I PROMISED MYSELF AND MY FRIEND THAT I WOULD STOP THE DRAMA AND THE FALSEHOOD THAT I WAS TELLING THAT NEVER WOULD BE AND NEVER WAS AND I CLEANSED MY HEART AND MY HOME OF ALL OF IT'S TRACES AND I AM MOVING FORWARD IN YET ANOTHER ASPECT OF MY LIFE...AND TRUST ME, IT HURTS...A LOT.

I HATE CHANGE. ESPECIALLY CHANGE THAT HURTS...I DON'T CARE IF IT IS FOR THE BEST...I WOULD RATHER HAVE A SNAKE UP MY NOSE....BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY IT CAN BE. DRAMA EQUALS STRESS AND STRESS KILLS. IT CAUSES DIS-EASE/DISEASE, CANCER, AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER ILLNESSES.... IT MAKES US LOOK AT OURSELVES IN A POOR LIGHT...AND THAT IS THE SADDEST PART OF ALL ... BECAUSE TO BE HAPPY, WE NEED TO SEE OURSELVES IN THE BEST POSSIBLE LIGHT...IN THE HIGHEST ESTEEM.

ANYTHING OR ANYONE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR SELF WORTH OR SELF ESTEEM OR MAKES YOU THINK LESS OF YOU NEEDS TO GO .....

THINGS AND/OR PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE ARE EITHER LIABILITIES OR ASSETS. TAKE STOCK OF YOUR ASSETS AND LIABILITIES AND LIQUIDATE THE LATTER.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND THEN SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THOSE WHO ALSO TRULY LOVE YOU.

SOME PEOPLE WILL DISGUISE THEMSELVES TO MAKE YOU THINK THEY LOVE YOU FOR THEIR OWN GAIN, BUT IF IT BEGINS TO HURT TO HAVE THEM IN YOUR LIFE....IF LOVING THEM OR HAVING THEM FOR A FRIEND BEGINS TO CAUSE YOU PAIN....THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU. AND YOU WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR HEART, INNATELY.

DO NOT WASTE ANOTHER PRECIOUS MOMENT ON THOSE WHO ONLY SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU AND GIVE NOTHING IN RETURN.

SKIP THE DRAMA, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, JOURNAL YOUR GRATITUDE AND LIQUIDATE YOUR LIABILITIES.

MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY, FIRST.

LOVE AND LIGHT.

r-